Well..
i woke up at 8 today planning to go fuel and guess wat?
Im nose bleeding...my bed is filled with blood..well, as thou it hasnt already been bloody..-_-
ya..moving on..i was freaking out..lying on the bed..put cold tower on my forehead..
nope..not working..
and at 8.15 i went bathe in extreme cold water.. i was freezing my balls off..
i really wanted to go but apparently i was still bleeding..
i feel like i lost alot of blood cuz the blood just never stops..i stuffed tissue but its not working..the tissue would just turn red and then later harden and blood come out from the side..so ya..like 9.30..it stopped..
smsed manda(promised her to go to church)..
then i slept awhile..woke up at 10.30..
yay!i smell blood only..
so yea i went downstairs..
and apparently i *fell* down the stairs..
(you should know wat happened)
father laughing..
i coughed out chunks of red pure thick blood..
and my nose started bleeding again..
my state of mind: "zzz wtf la"
i realised something. i never scolded or punched my parents..well im not supposed to anyway..except this time my father was drunk and he bloody hit me in the shoulder with the bat and it dislocated so i was in so much pain that i punched him in the stomach which made him puke..muahah!but i felt bad after tat and never used violence or verbal swears against him/her..
continuing...
i took out my phone called my sis and she was like, "wa lao wo gang gang chu qu her yi le you yao hui lai ni zi ji qu la den yi xia wo lai.."
translation, 'omg i just went out. now must come back again go yourself can later i go pay for you.'
then i was like, 'kuai dian wo tu xue wo bu yao xian zai si.'
translation, 'quickly!i vomit blood.i dun wanna die now.'
lol!i realise that typing it in chinese gives the reader more suspense..esp the CLB people LOOOOOL! =x
yes and then she didnt come back..waited for 10mins and i thought forget it ill go myself.. o your prolly wondering wat my father doing.. he watching TV..
so yes i picked up the phone and wanted to call the amb. but i realise calling one amb cost about 50-60..so i went out the house ding dong my neighbor..NOT THE PAKISTAN ONE.and yeap they fetched my the SGH..*so relieved that i didnt hypo on in their car..control!*
and there was I..ALL ALONE IN THE HOSPITAL.
who signed me in? me myself and i..
so my usual doctor said,'i thought i told you not to fall anymore and tell u that its going to be more serious?'
and i was like,'i tripped' state of mind:ya right tripped..
so ya..he said,'If you got something that you cant say, just say it, it might be better.'
mind: wow?psychologist?you shall not read my mind!get out!
my eyes widen and said, 'huh?'
then he gave up and said, 'you still bleeding during your sleep?'
NO IM NOT MENSTRUATING. FYI.
I said,'sometimes..seldom..after i eat the med is okay one.'
then he said, 'just remember to eat your medicine.'
and okay there was i on the bed with my bloody clothes..they asked me to change into the patient thing but i refused and they asked me to stay overnight and i refused..
so they infused blood into me..watever u call it..pump in blood..
the process was ticklish and pain i want to scratch but i cant..
and then there was the retardedness of ALEX..
i was sitting on the tube thingy..then..i jumped out of the bed..
*pechik* OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
the needle came off. and i shouted.. then the nurse in the room came over and turn off the blood bag thing and asked are you okay?
i was like yes...
she wanted to stick the thing back in but i was like..toilet.
then i went to the toilet and came back..
*pokes* OUCH.
and there goes my wondrous day of immense pain and suffering.
gheez this day suck..18 Jan. ILL REMEMBER YOU U BITCH DAY!


its 1.16am...and im reading thru my old blog posts..
minuscule happiness and overpowering sadness..
whats with my life. im pathetically useless..
Loneliness is a thing i feel for the past few years, waiting and pondering..
And finally I realize..
I'm sorry but I think I'm not good enough for you.